You Didn't Hear it From Me
I saw "Troy" last Friday and it was horrible! However, when the movie was over, the audience I saw it with applauded! What in the hell...?? I'm telling you guys, life in suburbia is just different.

Then again, maybe they were just applauding because it was finally over?


I've seen all of these people naked on film or video...I can't imagine needing to see it in real life. But wait, I guess none of these people live "real" lives.

Paris Hilton and Bijou Phillips may have finally met their match in porcine porn legend Ron Jeremy.
We heard a delectable rumor about a bathroom encounter the trio had after last year's Los Angeles premiere of "Wonderland," the indie flick about doomed porn star John Holmes that starred Val Kilmer and Hilton.
It seems that at an all-night after-party at the Chateau Marmount, which drew the likes of Daryl Hannah, Christian Slater and Phillips' then-boyfriend, Sean Lennon, Hilton approached Jeremy and asked to see his legendarily large endowment.
Jeremy, who often got the same request from Tracy Bingham, his co-star on TV's "The Surreal Life," is said to have told Paris, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
The hotblooded hotel heiress accepted the deal, and she, Phillips and another lovely young lass took Jeremy to the ladies room at the Chateau Marmount, and went into a stall.
The ladies pulled up their shirts and showed Jeremy their breasts, and he, in turn, exposed his massive member.
"It's definitely bigger than Sean's!" blurted Phillips.
So, naturally, when we had the chance to lunch yesterday at Nello's with Jeremy - who is promoting "Gentlemen's Club Championship 2004," a pay-per-view event featuring strippers in an "American Idol" format - we had to ask him about the randy rumor.
"No comment," said Jeremy, cracking a wide smile that would indicate some truth to the tale. (PageSix.com)

Lindsay, I love ya, but they're fake.

"I'm kind of in a position where I don't want to be sexy right now, because [the gossip rags] were writing about my chest being fake. So, I'm afraid.... They're real. I don't have implants. That's retarded. I'm 17." (The Awful Truth, Eonline.com)

I knew I should have named my son "Negro Alien Cat."

Gwyneth Paltrow has given birth to her first child - a baby girl named Apple Blythe Alison Martin. Apple is just another in a long line of wacky celebrity baby names, and one of the more tame ones at that.

Who can forget Paula Yates' girls Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily?
Or Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' daughters Rumer, Scout and Tallulah? Or our fave - Pilot Inspektor, the son of actor Jason Lee.
Then there's the old school odd names Moon Unit, Diva, Dweezil and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan Zappa.
And our personal favorite - Jermaine Jackson has a 3-year-old son named Jermajesty.

It seems new father Martin has recovered from the birth - or at least his sense of humor has. To celebrate the birth of his daughter, Martin and his bandmates posted a video on www.coldplaying.com under the name "The Nappies," with some slightly off-color lyrics.

Wearing a curly blond wig, Martin sings about Paltrow's up-and-down hormones, changing baby's diapers, poo and even her breasts.
"Your boobs gone up 10 times their size,
cups gone up from A to D,
that's bad for you, it's fun for me."
And then there's our favorite, the refrain:
"I ain't no baddie, I am your baby's daddy." (PageSix.com)



If the rumors about Brad & Angelina weren't even a little true, why would Angie hide out from Jen? You would think the three of them would hang out together to squash the rumors....

Angelina Jolie avoided a star studded party at the Cannes Film Festival on Thursday - to stop fellow actress Jennifer Aniston from feeling uncomfortable. Aniston was reportedly upset following speculation her husband Brad Pitt had grown close to Jolie whilst filming new movie Mr And Mrs Smith earlier this year. Although the reports were vehemently denied by both parties, Jolie decided to stay in her hotel room with son Maddox instead of joining Pitt and Aniston and stars including Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Will Smith and Uma Thurman at the bash at the exclusive Hotel Du Cap. A source tells Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper, "She didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable and thought it best to stay in her suite - and eliminate any chance of bumping into Jennifer." (Imdb.com)

STOP THE PRESSES - yet another acne emergency for Cameron!

Cameron Diaz had a skin-care crisis at the Cannes Film Festival this weekend - when her face broke out in acne. The Charlie's Angels stunner was in the French city to attend the premiere of animation sequel Shrek 2 and had to call in her beauty experts to correct the unsightly blemishes. A source close to Justin Timberlake's belle says, "The zits flared up the night before - it was a case of all hands on deck to make her look like her normal self. They worked for ages to give her a perfect complexion. Cameron has problem skin like a lot of girls. It tends to flare up when she is stressed or has too many late nights. But she looked great for the big night, though she headed home from the party afterwards before midnight for a good night's rest." (Imdb.com)

I love Gael Garcia Bernal but I've heard he's only a hair taller than Danny DeVito!
Natalie Portman is a single woman again - after ditching hunky boyfriend Gael Garcia Bernal. The stunning 22-year-old actress has been dating the Bad Education star since meeting him at a post-Oscar party in 2003 but friends say cracks started appearing in the romance a few weeks ago. According to British newspaper The Sun, the final straw was when Portman discovered her beau had opted to take his parents to the Cannes Film Festival this week instead of her. Portman's previous boyfriends include Moby and Lukas Haas. (Imdb.com)

It's pretty obvious that Angelina finally hired PR people.
Uma Thurman has reportedly accepted a proposal from lover Andre Balazs - on the advice of new confidante Angelina Jolie. The gorgeous duo bonded over drinks at the Cannes Film Festival this week, where Uma poured out her heart to the Tomb Raider star over her failed marriage to Ethan Hawke. But sage Angelina - who was left heartbroken when husband Billy Bob Thornton left her - told Uma not to dwell on the past and to grab happiness with the smitten hotelier. And Uma allegedly took her words to heart, by telling Balazs she will marry him. A source tells British newspaper the Daily Star, "Angie wanted Uma to feel like a woman and not just a wronged wife or single mother. After the circus of Kill Bill, the end of her relationship with Ethan and the birth of her children, it's now finally all about her." (Imdb.com)

Winona Ryder? Ew!

Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger have confirmed that they're no longer an item, which comes as no surprise to gossip fans who've read that Ledger was recently been spotted in a lip lock with Winona Ryder. (The Scoop, msnbc.com)

I love the smell, too!

Britney Spears has been caught smoking pot with boyfriend Kevin Federline in Amsterdam, Holland.
The pop superstar told regulars at The Bulldog coffee shop in Amsterdam, where marijuana use is legal, that she enjoyed pot smoking, according to American magazine In Touch.
One customer, Marc Van Der Vlies, told reporters, "Britney was smoking a joint, for sure. She was in a very good mood. She said to Kevin, 'I love the smell of it, it's really awesome.'" (The Daily Dish, SFGate.com)

I wish I had time to ponder this blind item. Any guesses?

Which leading man is so desperate for his summer movie to be a hit, he called up a top critic and promised him oral sex if he "helped" him out with a good review? His wife has no idea of the "promise," but the actor does need some assistance - his last few movies have flopped. (PageSix.com)