You Didn't Hear it From Me
I saw "Troy" last Friday and it was horrible! However, when the movie was over, the audience I saw it with applauded! What in the hell...?? I'm telling you guys, life in suburbia is just different.

Then again, maybe they were just applauding because it was finally over?


I've seen all of these people naked on film or video...I can't imagine needing to see it in real life. But wait, I guess none of these people live "real" lives.

Paris Hilton and Bijou Phillips may have finally met their match in porcine porn legend Ron Jeremy.
We heard a delectable rumor about a bathroom encounter the trio had after last year's Los Angeles premiere of "Wonderland," the indie flick about doomed porn star John Holmes that starred Val Kilmer and Hilton.
It seems that at an all-night after-party at the Chateau Marmount, which drew the likes of Daryl Hannah, Christian Slater and Phillips' then-boyfriend, Sean Lennon, Hilton approached Jeremy and asked to see his legendarily large endowment.
Jeremy, who often got the same request from Tracy Bingham, his co-star on TV's "The Surreal Life," is said to have told Paris, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
The hotblooded hotel heiress accepted the deal, and she, Phillips and another lovely young lass took Jeremy to the ladies room at the Chateau Marmount, and went into a stall.
The ladies pulled up their shirts and showed Jeremy their breasts, and he, in turn, exposed his massive member.
"It's definitely bigger than Sean's!" blurted Phillips.
So, naturally, when we had the chance to lunch yesterday at Nello's with Jeremy - who is promoting "Gentlemen's Club Championship 2004," a pay-per-view event featuring strippers in an "American Idol" format - we had to ask him about the randy rumor.
"No comment," said Jeremy, cracking a wide smile that would indicate some truth to the tale. (PageSix.com)

Lindsay, I love ya, but they're fake.

"I'm kind of in a position where I don't want to be sexy right now, because [the gossip rags] were writing about my chest being fake. So, I'm afraid.... They're real. I don't have implants. That's retarded. I'm 17." (The Awful Truth, Eonline.com)

I knew I should have named my son "Negro Alien Cat."

Gwyneth Paltrow has given birth to her first child - a baby girl named Apple Blythe Alison Martin. Apple is just another in a long line of wacky celebrity baby names, and one of the more tame ones at that.

Who can forget Paula Yates' girls Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily?
Or Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' daughters Rumer, Scout and Tallulah? Or our fave - Pilot Inspektor, the son of actor Jason Lee.
Then there's the old school odd names Moon Unit, Diva, Dweezil and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan Zappa.
And our personal favorite - Jermaine Jackson has a 3-year-old son named Jermajesty.

It seems new father Martin has recovered from the birth - or at least his sense of humor has. To celebrate the birth of his daughter, Martin and his bandmates posted a video on www.coldplaying.com under the name "The Nappies," with some slightly off-color lyrics.

Wearing a curly blond wig, Martin sings about Paltrow's up-and-down hormones, changing baby's diapers, poo and even her breasts.
"Your boobs gone up 10 times their size,
cups gone up from A to D,
that's bad for you, it's fun for me."
And then there's our favorite, the refrain:
"I ain't no baddie, I am your baby's daddy." (PageSix.com)



If the rumors about Brad & Angelina weren't even a little true, why would Angie hide out from Jen? You would think the three of them would hang out together to squash the rumors....

Angelina Jolie avoided a star studded party at the Cannes Film Festival on Thursday - to stop fellow actress Jennifer Aniston from feeling uncomfortable. Aniston was reportedly upset following speculation her husband Brad Pitt had grown close to Jolie whilst filming new movie Mr And Mrs Smith earlier this year. Although the reports were vehemently denied by both parties, Jolie decided to stay in her hotel room with son Maddox instead of joining Pitt and Aniston and stars including Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Will Smith and Uma Thurman at the bash at the exclusive Hotel Du Cap. A source tells Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper, "She didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable and thought it best to stay in her suite - and eliminate any chance of bumping into Jennifer." (Imdb.com)

STOP THE PRESSES - yet another acne emergency for Cameron!

Cameron Diaz had a skin-care crisis at the Cannes Film Festival this weekend - when her face broke out in acne. The Charlie's Angels stunner was in the French city to attend the premiere of animation sequel Shrek 2 and had to call in her beauty experts to correct the unsightly blemishes. A source close to Justin Timberlake's belle says, "The zits flared up the night before - it was a case of all hands on deck to make her look like her normal self. They worked for ages to give her a perfect complexion. Cameron has problem skin like a lot of girls. It tends to flare up when she is stressed or has too many late nights. But she looked great for the big night, though she headed home from the party afterwards before midnight for a good night's rest." (Imdb.com)

I love Gael Garcia Bernal but I've heard he's only a hair taller than Danny DeVito!
Natalie Portman is a single woman again - after ditching hunky boyfriend Gael Garcia Bernal. The stunning 22-year-old actress has been dating the Bad Education star since meeting him at a post-Oscar party in 2003 but friends say cracks started appearing in the romance a few weeks ago. According to British newspaper The Sun, the final straw was when Portman discovered her beau had opted to take his parents to the Cannes Film Festival this week instead of her. Portman's previous boyfriends include Moby and Lukas Haas. (Imdb.com)

It's pretty obvious that Angelina finally hired PR people.
Uma Thurman has reportedly accepted a proposal from lover Andre Balazs - on the advice of new confidante Angelina Jolie. The gorgeous duo bonded over drinks at the Cannes Film Festival this week, where Uma poured out her heart to the Tomb Raider star over her failed marriage to Ethan Hawke. But sage Angelina - who was left heartbroken when husband Billy Bob Thornton left her - told Uma not to dwell on the past and to grab happiness with the smitten hotelier. And Uma allegedly took her words to heart, by telling Balazs she will marry him. A source tells British newspaper the Daily Star, "Angie wanted Uma to feel like a woman and not just a wronged wife or single mother. After the circus of Kill Bill, the end of her relationship with Ethan and the birth of her children, it's now finally all about her." (Imdb.com)

Winona Ryder? Ew!

Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger have confirmed that they're no longer an item, which comes as no surprise to gossip fans who've read that Ledger was recently been spotted in a lip lock with Winona Ryder. (The Scoop, msnbc.com)

I love the smell, too!

Britney Spears has been caught smoking pot with boyfriend Kevin Federline in Amsterdam, Holland.
The pop superstar told regulars at The Bulldog coffee shop in Amsterdam, where marijuana use is legal, that she enjoyed pot smoking, according to American magazine In Touch.
One customer, Marc Van Der Vlies, told reporters, "Britney was smoking a joint, for sure. She was in a very good mood. She said to Kevin, 'I love the smell of it, it's really awesome.'" (The Daily Dish, SFGate.com)

I wish I had time to ponder this blind item. Any guesses?

Which leading man is so desperate for his summer movie to be a hit, he called up a top critic and promised him oral sex if he "helped" him out with a good review? His wife has no idea of the "promise," but the actor does need some assistance - his last few movies have flopped. (PageSix.com)

You Didn't Hear it From Me
I'm obsessed with Lindsay Lohan. What is it about her that I love so much? She's hot, but sometimes she doesn't look that cute. I love all of her movies, but I hear she's a bitch. Did you know that she's roommates with Raven-Symone (that's right, there's a dash in her name)? Ew! I'm not quite sure what it is about her, but I'm not the only one. All of my cool friends agree that Lindsay is FAR superior to her arch nemesis, Hilary Duff. But, I mean, come on....Hilary just sucks. Anyway, go see "Mean Girls" if you haven't already.


Not Brad & Angelina?so who?

Which box-office hero is so smitten with the lush leading lady of his next picture that observers liken him to a puppy nipping at her heels - and other parts? Meanwhile, his wife can't figure out why he's been so distracted lately. Hollywood insiders expect the whole thing to bust open later this week when the lovebirds will be in Cannes at the same time for different movies. (PageSix.com)

Kate Hudson? Josh Duhmel?

Which A-list star has been smoking pot when she's not breast-feeding her baby? The Hollywood hippie doesn't believe she can pass on the mind-bending effects of marijuana through her mother's milk . . . WHICH starlet's deejay boyfriend got his stomach stapled to appear more svelte? Truth be told, she could stand to hit the gym herself . . . WHICH hunky TV actor is about to lose it all? He's been fighting with the show that made him famous and insiders are fuming because he doesn't take his medication to control his anger and addictive behavior - turning taping sessions into a "nightmare." (PageSix.com)

Oh Slater?.

Former "Saved By the Bell" actor Mario Lopez and his new bride Ali Landry have already gone their separate ways -- after just two weeks of marriage.
The pair wed at Mexico's exclusive Las Alamandas resort outside of Puerto Vallarta on April 24 and already 30-year-old Landry is seeking to have the marriage annulled because, according to pals, she believes Lopez, also 30, cheated on her.
The two met when Lopez was doing commentary for the 1998 Miss USA pageant, which she emceed. But friends quickly warned Landry of Lopez's alleged wandering eye.
A source tells Us Weekly, "She didn't want to believe it, but she was given really strong evidence this time. She is devastated.
"She's still processing what has happened, but she has her friends and family around her. She's strong. She'll get through this."
Landry has also asked bosses at "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to cut an upcoming feature they'd planned to air on her nuptials.
Lopez's latest reported infidelity occurred at his bachelor party in Acapulco. (The Scoop, MSNBC.com)

I?m just wondering if anyone cares about JHo anymore?

Once again, Jennifer Lopez has appeared to move from one fiance to another without missing a beat.
Lopez has given back the pink diamond engagement ring given to her by Ben Affleck and is now wearing a bauble of betrothal from current beau Marc Anthony.
"She is wearing a huge diamond ring on the middle finger of her left hand," blabbed a Lopez pal. "It is a diamond band with a huge square clear diamond in the middle and the square diamond is surrounded by more tiny diamonds. It is an engagement ring." A rep for Lopez would only say: "I don't know about that ring."
Here's hoping J. Lo's ravishing new rock will lift her spirits, as the early buzz on her next two movies is a real downer. (PageSix.com)

Nicole Richie rocks! I would choose her as my BFF over Paris anyday.

Is the lovefest between Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on the rocks? A source close to the dysfunctional duo tells us it's going to take "a lot of crafty editing" to make them look like best buds in the second season of Fox's "The Simple Life." Says the tipster, "They were constantly at each other's throats" as they cruised across the country in an RV. But a bigger problem was their habit of giving each other the silent treatment: "There was a lot of time when they just weren't speaking." A Fox rep denies there's been any creative editing: "The show is completely authentic." (PageSix.com)
WHICH young heartthrob might be facing a lawsuit from the parents of two teenage boys? At the recent premiere of his movie, the actor invited the pubescent pair back to his hotel room for an "after party" which turned out to be just the three of them, then plied the youngsters with liquor and tried to get them into bed. The boys promptly told their folks, who are said to be mulling legal action. (PageSix.com)

Scarlett Johansson is a total skank.

Scarlett Johansson has come clean about her dirty encounter with hunky Benicio Del Toro. The 19-year-old Hollywood cutie admits that, as rumored, she and Del Toro - who at 37 is old enough to be her dad - did get hot and heavy in the elevator of the Chateau Marmont hotel after the Oscars ceremony. "We were making out or having sex or something, which I think is very unsanitary," she tells Elle magazine. "He's a fabulous guy." But Scarlett - who got raves in "Lost in Translation," in which she has a platonic but intense relationship with Bill Murray - adds that older men and younger women aren't really a stretch, particularly in the movies. "Men age like wine, and women seem to wilt in the eyes of an audience," she says. (PageSix.com)

My guesses: Eva Mendes, not sure about the middle one and my fave teen star: Lindsay Lohan.

Which Latina temptress with dubious acting skills got her career the old-fashioned way? Although she seems to have a boyfriend, the gorgeous hottie has slept her way through several co-stars, producers and other Hollywood heavyweights . . . WHICH actress is trying to start a singing career because she's been stuck on the D-list for a decade and is determined to get off it? . . . WHICH teen starlet is developing a drug problem? She's hooked up with a hard-partying bad boy and friends are worried she's adopting his nasty habits. (PageSix.com)

Well hello, Dolly!

Dolly Parton's marriage is reportedly in trouble after her husband hit out at the country singer's close relationship with female pal Judy Ogle. The couple allegedly clashed this week after Parton reportedly told Carl Dean she wanted to spend their 38th wedding anniversary with Ogle -- who she shares a bed with -- instead of him. A source says, "Carl said, 'It's Judy or me.' Dolly was so spitting mad that she would dump Carl for Judy in a heartbeat." Parton has previously explained her close relationship with her former personal assistant by saying, "We have always slept together since we were kids." (Daily Dish, SFGate.com)

Ashton Kutcher = Idiot

A murdered woman's devastated parents are accusing Ashton Kutcher of hindering the investigation into the death of their 22-year-old daughter, who was Kutcher's date at the 2001 Grammy parties.
The drama unfolded when the "That '70s Show" heartthrob arrived at Ashley Ellerin's Hollywood bungalow to take her to that year's glitzy Grammy bashes. Kutcher had already been on a handful of dates with the pretty fashion student.
But when he rang the bell, Ellerin didn't answer. Kutcher walked around the house, peered through the large French windows and noticed dark stains on the floor which, he later told police, he thought came from red wine. He then returned to his car and left for the parties solo.
But Ellerin's roommate came home the next morning to find her brutally stabbed to death. The "wine stains" were in fact blood. Her lifeless body had been in the bungalow for more than 12 hours.
Now her parents, Michael and Cynthia Ellerin, tell In Touch magazine that they still blame Kutcher for not going to police after seeing the suspicious floor stains.
"His behavior suggests he felt she was a disposable date," Michael says. "Because of him, the perpetrator got a 12-hour head start. Any responsible gentleman who goes on a date and finds a door not answered and evidence of some kind of disturbance would then call the police and let them know. It's like a person who sees an accident on the highway and doesn't stop."
But after her bloodied body was discovered, Kutcher told L.A. cops investigating the case that he "didn't think anything of it."
"Kutcher was one of the original people we interviewed," LAPD Lt. Art Miller tells In Touch, emphasizing that he is not and has never been a suspect.
"It's been over three years and there has been no arrest," said Cynthia Ellerin. "There is a murderer walking around free."
Ashley, who had dated action star Vin Diesel, moved from her parents' home to attend UCLA but switched to the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising. Police believe the murder occurred while she was getting ready to be picked up by Kutcher.
"Ashton was not dating this girl," Kutcher's lawyer, Marty Singer, told PAGE SIX. "She was dating one of his good friends. Ashton was only picking her up to meet up with other friends as a favor to other people, so he left. When he found out the girl had been murdered, he came forward and went to police. The police never sought him out." (PageSix.com)

You Didn't Hear it From Me
Hey there! I wanted you all to know that I've been inspired to start posting my weekly gossip in blog form.

I was inspired by "Rance." Heard about this? It's supposedly a famous actor's anonymous blog. There are all kinds of rumors going around about whom it is. There's speculation that it's George Clooney, Owen Wilson, Tobey Maguire, Vince Vaughn, Ron Livingston and a slew of others. My guess is Jim Carrey, but I really have no idea. Why don't you check it out and let me know who you think it is! Post your comments to my blog, baby!

Can you just imagine the nerdy offspring of this pair? Cool nerds, I'm sure, but nerds nonetheless.

Hot new couple alert: Sofia Coppola and Quentin Tarantino. The two talented directors were spotted Friday at Downtown Cipriani, and Saturday at Hudson Bar & Books. The next day they were strolling, arms around each other, through the West Village. Coppola, who has been single since she ditched hubby Spike Jonze last year, dipped into World of Video on Greenwich Avenue with Tarantino. The two rented some movies and left looking "very cozy." A rep for the directors said they are "good friends." (PageSix.com)

Is there anyone out there who doesn't think MJ did it? I think he's going to the slammer this time.

You have to wonder about Michael Jackson's claim that he replaced Ben Brafman and Mark Geragos as his lawyers because they weren't paying his case enough attention. Brafman confided to a friend just a couple of days ago how he would be flown out to L.A. first-class and put up in a suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel to have just a 20-minute meeting with Jackson (above), who would sit quietly and barely say a word about the child-molesting charges against him. "Michael Jackson shows less concern and interest in his case than any client I've ever had," Brafman told one friend. (PageSix.com)

Every article in every tab about his says the same thing: ain't nothin' going on.

How much would they have to pay you extra to have a hot love scene with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie? According to Star magazine, Pitt and Jolie are splitting $4 million to keep the steamiest parts of a scene in their flick Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, is reportedly not amused about costar-mating Angelina (she poached ex Billy Bob from then fianc?e Laura Dern) getting sexy on the set with her man. But sources in both the Star and Us Weekly poo-poo the rumors, with a denial from Brad's rep and sources saying that Jen is often on the set, waiting for Brad in his trailer. Tabloid mavens will notice, however, that all the set photos depicting Brad and Angelina's togetherness have been in the mags for weeks. So, there may be onscreen heat, but it doesn't seem to radiate offscreen. Still, the $4 million money shot (rumored to be Brad's naked bum and Angelina full frontal) might just be a wise investment in advance publicity. (Star.com)

Courtney is so far gone she can't even temp a self-proclaimed sex addict.

Courtney Love's attempts to shock R&B hunk Usher failed miserably when the odd couple met for the first time on a TV show recently. The controversial rocker decided to greet the singer wearing only a lacy blue thong when he arrived backstage at "The View." But Usher was far from impressed -- he simply took one look at her and quipped, "Where are your clothes, baby?" (The Daily Dish, SFGate.com)

I'm sorry, but Nicolas Cage sends my gag-o-meter sky high.

Nicolas Cage moves fast. Just two months ago, he started dating 19-year-old waitress Alice Kim. Now an eagle-eyed photographer for the London Sun has caught the pretty brunette wearing a huge diamond and emerald engagement ring. The two met on Valentine's Day when a dateless Cage and pals walked into Sushi Avenue in Los Angeles, and Kim waited on them. Last weekend, Cage, 40, treated Kim and her family to a weekend at Disneyland. A rep for Cage declined comment. (Imdb.com)

What's UP with Britney and all the dancers?!? And how much do you want to bet she made a play for Cris Judd?

Britney Spears' new squeeze, dancer Kevin Federline, has a 7-months-pregnant fianc?e who is speaking out about the pop tart's relationship with him. Yesterday, PAGE SIX printed photos of Spears and Federline, 26, frolicking on a Santa Monica beach and revealed how the couple had left the Beverly Hills Hotel together in Spears' white Mercedes convertible. Now Federline's longtime girlfriend, actress Shar Jackson, 27, is dishing to Us Weekly: "He called me and said he didn't want me to read about it somewhere before he told me. We haven't broken up - yet." Jackson, a recurring character on TV's "Moesha," added that she wanted to "have a talk" with Spears. "Being seven months pregnant, I can't afford to be stressed out." The magazine suggests Spears didn't know Federline had a girlfriend and reports that Spears appeared frazzled at L.A. International Airport the night of April 24, sporting "tear-smudged black eye makeup." This wouldn't be the first time that Spears has been accused of beguiling a male dancer already in a committed relationship. She was said to have had a fling last year with dancer Columbus Short, whose wife Brandi was eight months pregnant. (PageSix.com)

I can't help it I love Janice Dickenson.

"America's Next Top Model" judge Janice Dickenson says Gisele Bundchen walks "like a Clydesdale." (The Scoop, Msnbc.com)

Is Jon Bon Jovi still relevant?

Rocker Jon Bon Jovi has confessed his secret crush: news anchorwoman Katie Couric.
The Bon Jovi frontman insists he admires the 47-year-old for her enthusiasm and her body.
He gushes, "She's hot. She gets all sweet for the morning news and she gets all sassy at night. Katie's got a nice booty." (The Daily Dish, SFGate.com)

Last Week's Gossip
Am I the only one sick of "The Apprentice?" Specifically the women from "The Apprentice?" There's an Omarosa bit in this week's gossip, but I swear to god, it's the last. NO MORE! But before I end my tangent, has anyone else noticed how some people insist on calling her "Ah - morosa" and not "O - morosa?" I don't know if it drives me crazier that people do this or that I care.

Looking for Man Love

Kevin Spacey was the unwitting victim of a con artist on Saturday morning - not a mugger - according to the actor himself. The Usual Suspects star told police he had been attacked and had his mobile phone stolen while walking his dog in a Lambeth, south London park at 4.30am. After reporting the crime and receiving hospital attention for a minor head injury, Spacey returned to the police station to withdraw his claim. Spacey appeared on BBC Radio 4's respected Today show Monday morning to explain the bizarre series of events. He reveals, "I fell for a con and I was, I think, incredibly embarrassed by it. Some sob story about someone needing to call their mother and could they use my phone. It was such a good con that I actually dialed the number myself, and then when someone answered I finally handed my phone over, and this kid took off and I ran after him and it was 4am and I tripped up over my dog and I ended up falling onto the street and hitting myself in the head." The Oscar-winner was so angry and humiliated at the time of the crime, he went to the police. Only after he calmed down, Spacey returned to the station to admit he hadn't been attacked. Spacey says, "I'm extremely upset. I feel like the biggest fool that's ever lived. I march over to the police station and I say I got mugged and I'm thinking that they're gonna run out and find this kid a block later, and of course they take me to the hospital and they were very kind and that's one of the reasons I went back on Saturday morning to the police station. I woke up after a couple of hours' sleep and I thought, you know, there's a difference between assault and theft and it just wasn't on for me to not come clean about my own level of embarrassment, and being humble at the fact that I got taken by the oldest con going. But it probably was good that I got bonked on the head because I obviously wasn't thinking." (Imdb.com)



Ewwww - morosa!

Everyone's favorite villainess from "The Apprentice," Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth), gave passers-by an eyeful in Central Park Thursday. While posing for Post photographer Lawrence Schwarzwald, a gust of wind blew up Omarosa's dress - and revealed she wasn't wearing any underwear. We've seen the snapshot that captured the magical moment, and let's just say that Lady O could use a gift certificate to the J Sisters salon - soon! (PageSix.com)



I think what's most shocking about this is that Nicole Kidman was eating FRIED vegetables!

Nicole Kidman has reportedly been saved from choking by a quick-thinking restaurant waiter. According to British newspaper the Daily Star, the Oscar winner got into difficulty nibbling on hors d'oeuvres while waiting for friends at New York's trendy Spice Market eatery. A fellow diner tells the Star, "Nicole was basically tired of waiting on her own for friends, so she decided to order some appetizers. The fried vegetable entrees arrived and one got stuck in her throat. She was sitting on her own in the restaurant and not many people realized what was happening. One of the waiters spotted what was happening and rushed to her table." Kidman tried to reward the brave waiter, but he refused to accept money from the actress. A restaurant source tells the Star, "He just felt he was doing what anyone would have done." (Imdb.com)



Sightings that make me mad:

Scarlett Johansson and Jared Leto looking cozy in a dark-blue Porsche Boxster cruising down Sunset Boulevard (PageSix.com)



What about JHO? Do you think she's cool with that?

Jennifer Lopez's history with Marc Anthony goes back further than we thought. A very good pal of Sean "Puffy" Combs' recalled: "Look, Puffy cheated on her all the time, but she wasn't exactly faithful, either. There was one night in the middle of their relationship when Puffy tracked them to a hotel and beat down the door." Now Lopez and Anthony's love is no longer forbidden. He accompanied her to her InStyle shoot Wednesday at Chelsea Piers and helped her deliver 40 Magnolia bakery cupcakes to the photo crew. Lopez "felt bad because she had been running late," said an insider. Lopez also insisted the crew eat as well as she did - meaning lobster and rack of lamb for dinner. The one rule on set: Don't call her "J.Lo," call her "Jen." The two are expected to go public today in L.A. at the premiere of Anthony's movie, "Man on Fire." Lopez's rep, Rob Shuter, said, "We don't comment on her private life." (PageSix.com)